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Dating apps leverage gamified features like endless profiles, dopamine-triggering matches, and instant gratification loops, encouraging users to form habits rather than interact mindfully. This design skews user behavior toward short-term validation and quantity over quality, making it harder for individuals genuinely seeking long-term connection to actually find one. The tech fosters addictive patterns that benefit platform growth but undermine authentic human connection.
But how? Essentially, the brain releases some of the neurotransmitter dopamine every time you swipe and get a match. With so many profiles to choose from on dating sites and apps, you’re always searching for the “perfect match” who could be just a swipe away.
The illusion of choice
You could have a great conversation with someone, maybe even go on a date with them, and have a nice time, but it’s easy to think there could be someone better the moment you run into a minor disagreement or things get slightly awkward between the two of you. With the dating app in your pocket, it’s easy to keep swiping. Authentic connections take time and effort, primarily off traditional dating apps.
Dopamine is responsible for sensations of pleasure and reward. It’s the same chemical rush you get from eating your favorite food, gambling, or engaging in another pleasurable activity. It feels good in the moment, but it’s fleeting. The dopamine rush from getting a match with someone who might just be the perfect person fades, and you’re hungry for more. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle of swiping, matching, feeling the rush, losing interest, and everything all over again.
Dating apps continue to monetize this cycle effectively. They’re designed to keep users coming back. Paradoxically, they have no interest in people actually forming serious relationships and fostering real connections because those people will move off the respective app. Instead, they want to keep you hooked.
Such interactions and related online dynamics may set the stage in terms of mental health in relationships and the possibility of nurturing a lasting connection.
The effect of online dating on mental health
According to survey data reported in 2024, 61.4% of respondents said they had to take a break from online dating due to mental health issues. The numbers were quite similar for female and male respondents. Interestingly, young online daters aren’t included in this trend. Just under 69% of people aged 18-24 said they had never needed to take a break for mental health reasons. Overall, though, just 13% of respondents said online dating had not contributed to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It had done so for 41%, and almost a quarter (23%) said it had contributed to such feelings significantly. People aged 25-34 were most affected, with over a third (34%) confirming its significant effect.
Balancing mental health and online dating
Most couples still meet online, so we can’t argue that dating apps aren’t useful. What’s more, the toll that the use of dating apps seems to have on mental health does not extend to dating behaviors, beginning with how survey participants rated the apps. On a scale of 1-5, those who said they often experienced anxiety or stress related to dating apps also rated their overall experience 5 out of 5 (the best).
More than three-quarters (77%) would recommend online dating to others, with those interested in casual dating recommending it most highly. Attitudes to online dating were once again most negative among the youngest daters: almost a third of those aged 18-24 would not recommend online dating, compared to an overall 15% who wouldn’t recommend it.
Recap
- Dating apps communicate the illusion of choice
- Matching gives users a dopamine rush
- Online dating can have an adverse effect on mental health
- The effect is strongest on the youngest users